The Sorry State of Judgment Day

Are you homesick, or just sick of home?
Tied down to the roads where you roam?
Missing the missiles, or missing being missed?
Making a visit, or reliving your first kiss?
Who knows, babe, but I can say:
We’re all gearing up for the Judgment Day.

Juliet, she’s groaning under the curtain sheets
As Romeo, he’s phoning his mistress of the streets
Ballroom pranks and misogynistic throes
Are perpetrated by the prince in all of his woes
I look at all these people made of clay
And see that they’re preparing for Judgment Day.

First of all the Firsts and Last of the Lasts
Is the governor and his mighty sacred ass
To claim him as a dependent is surely in your rights
But know that he has booked nearly all of your flights
He’s sitting in the front row of the play
And you can see he’s not ready for Judgment Day.

Plastic porters pencil paste into their pies
As Robin Hood in Sherwood builds up his lies
For though he sees through mystery, he’s still unsure
And has to steal the hearts of those who will not defer
And he’s ready, sure, to jump into the fray
And take the role of horseman on Judgment Day.

Socrates and Nietzsche are tied up in a knot
As Arnold and Armstrong find out what they’re not
Pistol, Hotspur, and Northumberland ride
All to find out where Falstaff does not hide
Feeling queer and still revered, they sit and stay
At the ashen gates outside of Judgment Day.

Cancerous canaries and mystical matches
Are cooked by the chef into all of the batches
Perplexed by sex and sexlessness of binary code
He perches all the preachers out in the cold
He’s testing all the waters of the bay
Because he doesn’t know a thing of Judgment Day.

The quartermaster sits alone and counts all his bank
Because his master, Moriarty, has been struck in the flank
Spurred by surly certainty, they will never yield
Because they are fighting so that they can march upon the field
And steely is their will to hope and stay
Upon this final hour before Judgment Day.

Hold me, dear woman, and hold my worries there
Inside of your icy hell that has struck you unaware
Before you can cancel all my missing credit cards
I’d ask you to reconsider where we stand and pause
Because it’s with you that I would like to stay
And see the final verdict on Judgment Day.